Why The Target Issue Is Not About Tolerance

 

I noticed a transgender man heading for the dressing room in the women’s clothing store I was shopping at. How did I respond? Read on…

 

Target

 

I know I’m sticking my head out there, but I’ve been concerned by some of the quotes I’ve heard from other Christians about the whole Target bathroom situation and the North Carolina HB2 law. Things like: “All they want to do is just go to the bathroom!” or “Why can’t we just love them? Jesus would.” While these statements are valid, I believe there’s much more to it than just “loving them like Jesus does” (to borrow the cliche).

 

I could go on a tangent about how ridiculous the Target bathroom issue is. It is absurd that the rights of less than 4% of the population trumps the rights of the other 96%. What about the rights of millions of women who are not comfortable sharing a bathroom with men? What about the rights of the victims that will result from molesters having unquestioned access to the restrooms?

 

But let’s talk a minute about the deeper issue. The transgender individuals. Let me begin by saying that I am human and recognize that I am not infallible, so I am open to other ideas on this. However, I’ve had years of relating closely with homosexual women and girls within the prison systems. I’ve heard their heart wrenching stories of abuse and mistreatment that opened their hearts to the attraction of the same sex. I have always reached out in compassion and acceptance of them—without condoning their sin. And I’ve found that when I lovingly listen to their hearts, and show them God’s love, they themselves confess that their lifestyle is wrong. It’s sin. And most of them know it. When I allow Jesus to be seen through me, He does the convicting, and I usually don’t have to say a word about it. Homosexuality is a symptom, not the root problem.

 

You see, the Target issue is much more than showing love, reaching the lost, or being tolerant…

 

Now let me remind you…God is love. Jesus is love. No one in Jesus’ day had to question whether He loved them. Love is Who He is. Jesus’ love was evident to everyone around Him. It permeated from Him. And yet He would tell the sinner, “Go and sin no more.” He lovingly rebuked those who chose to continue living in their sins.

 

Now, we have to be careful that we express sincere love to someone before we address a sin issue in their lives. Remember, we are always more effective when we’re a listening friend rather than a condemning judge.  

 

But again, the Target issue is much more than showing love, reaching the lost, or being tolerant…

 

Let me explain…I can freely show love and compassion to the lesbian women and girls in the prisons, but I would not feel comfortable with them being close friends of my teenage daughters. Not without a life change. We reach out and minister to many men in the prisons who are addicted to pornography and have even molested others, yet obviously we use extreme caution of their interaction with our daughters. I can recognize that a pedophile is deeply hurting and needs to know the love of Jesus, but I will NOT reach out in love to them at the expense of the safety of my little girls. That would be ridiculous! I will show love to those behind bars who have committed armed robberies, but obviously I will take precautions to prevent them from breaking into our home.

 

inmate-prayer10

Photo Credit: Jeff James

 

There’s a big difference between loving and accepting others, and allowing their ungodly actions to affect you. There’s a distinct and unacceptable line that is crossed when “loving and being tolerant” of others is abused.

 

My friend, let me say it again, this issue is much bigger than showing love and tolerance to others! Those who are pushing for these laws are beyond the hurting men and women who respond to sincere love and compassion. Yes, they are hurting, but there comes a time when someone chooses to become defiant against God Almighty. They cross the lines when they bully their way and do it at the expense of our children.

 

In the last few months, I was in an exclusive women’s clothing store when this man came in. He was obviously identifying as a “she” and was wearing nylons, high heels, a wig and lots of makeup. He began picking out clothes and started heading towards the dressing room. I did not feel comfortable going into the dressing room with my daughter and exposing her to this…so I left the store.

 

Just a few weeks ago, I saw this same man again. His dress and appearance again was repulsive to me. Now don’t get me wrong, I am open to reaching out to him, and I’m hoping for another opportunity. I would like to be able to show the love of Jesus to him. But I’m not going to be sharing a dressing room with him. That’s no longer love. That’s insanity!

 

The problem of homosexuality cannot be solved until society recognizes that it is a problem. The cure cannot be administered if the doctors deny there is a sickness. These individuals are hurting and each time a person that is cross dressing, you are witnessing a cry for help. These individuals need our help, yet we stand idle. Instead of reaching out to help them, we refuse—declaring they are fine; they simply want to be treated with equality.

 

These people are hurting and some of them are open to the Gospel as we reach out in love to them. But the Target bathroom issue is more about appeasing our culture rather than reaching out in love.

 

Let’s suppose one of our teenage daughters would begin making bad choices and start using drugs. Of course, we would be heart broken. But we would reach out in love and try to get her the help she needs. We would try to hear her heart and see what caused her wrong choices. We would continue to love her. But if she would defiantly continue using the drugs and also begin exposing our little girls to them, we’d finally say, “That’s enough. You cannot continue doing that in our house. You’ve crossed the line.”

 

You can show love to transgender individuals, but when the safety of others is in questions, it’s time to say, “Enough is enough. You’ve crossed the line here.” And this is what I’m telling Target by boycotting them. It’s not because I don’t have love or compassion.

 

Draw the Line

 

This is not because of the lack of love. (I most certainly wouldn’t expend the money or time to minister to them in prison if I didn’t have love for them.) It’s simply because of wisdom, integrity and our conscience. And that’s the very thing Target and our government is wanting to take away from us.

 

My friend, this issue is about getting rid of the two genders that God created. It’s about taking away the rights of businesses and property owners to operate in a way that follows their conscience.

 

Let’s remember that true love is indicated more by giving a hurting person what they need rather than what they want. They need Jesus and His love shown through us rather than their bathroom rights. Are we reaching out in love to those who are crying out for help? We can do this without endangering our families or compromising our convictions.

 

~Cindy (For The Mullett Family)

 

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10 Responses

  1. Charlene says:

    Amen AMEM, totally agree. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Leah Stutzman says:

    Perfectly stated !!!

  3. Bridget Seitz says:

    A psychiatric study @Johns Hopskins showed that although yes some feel the need to be transgenders , they are not women. They have a mental illness. I am not blaming anyone for having an illness because they cannot help themselves. I too would not be comfortable sharing a dressing room or multiple stall bathroom with these men. I personally have at one time or another while waiting in long line at a single stall woman’s restroom have used the empty men’s rather than wait. But there was no one in there to offend. I am a woman and used men’s so I don’t see why the men feel the need to be in the woman’s? They both have toilets.

  4. Mark says:

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I noticed that you used your encounters with homosexual inmates to form your thoughts on transgendered people; do you believe that transgenders are merely cross-dressing homosexuals, or would it be more accurate to consider that transgenders, like the label indicates, struggle with a gender issue while homosexuals, again looking at the label, deal with the sexual aspect of things? Additionally, you seemed to equate sharing the restroom with a transgender and sharing the dressing room with a man; I wonder how you reconcile sharing those same spaces with a homosexual woman. You infer that alleviating danger to the least of these, or the less than 4%, in some way increases the possibility of danger to the majority; I’ve not spent much time in women’s restrooms, but usually they afford the privacy of individual stalls which should actually be sufficient for anyone to use safely. How did the word “molesters” sneak its way into a post about transgender struggles? Have the homosexual inmates given you insight to how frequently they have a history of being molested by transgendered people in public dressing areas or restrooms or how did that become pertinent to the topic? While I agree with your thesis of the distinction between showing love and inviting sin into your life, I believe you carelessly mixed up transgender issues, your experience with homosexual inmates and your fear of molesters to fabricate an emotional (but not logical) rationale for identifying with the current political fearmongering and to boycott a business in an attempt to feel you’ve done something to fix what is wrong.

  5. Brian says:

    Amen!

  6. Cindy Hamilton says:

    In total agreement with your writings. God Bless you for all the efforts you show to the ladies in prison. And will whisper up prayers for your ministry when it comes to my mind. May God help all the hurting people out there and may we show our love without hurting Gods cause and others but yet stand for the Truth of His word.

  7. Cindy Mullett says:

    Thank you, Cindy. Yes, may we be His beacon of light and love to this lost and hurting world!

  8. Cindy says:

    Hi, Mark. Thank you for your thoughts. I really appreciate the rational and respectful way your points were shared. So now, in response to your questions…

    To be honest, I am tired of all the terms. There are so many and their meanings are muddy. But “transgender” is an umbrella word to describe anyone who’s behavior, thoughts, or traits differ from their biological sex. This group includes those who identify as cross-dressers, homosexual, bisexual or any other form of perversion.

    By your questions, I believe you are assuming a different set of assumptions than what I am. This article is based on the belief that a person’s sexual orientation or gender is set by God, therefore, a person’s biological sex determines what they are. Painful situations drive people to respond out of this hurt. But it’s also not just the transgender individuals I’m thinking of. It’s much bigger than this! What will keep a pedophile from saying they’re transgender simply to be able to freely access a fitting room or bathroom where they can catch glimpses of half dressed little girls? Common sense tells us that this will definitely happen. Pedophiles are already being “peeping toms” without an open door policy. Who is considering my little girls as well as my teenage daughters who do NOT feel comfortable sharing a bathroom or fitting room with a male? And how many times do you hear about women taking photos or videos of women and girls going to the bathroom or getting dressed? It hardly ever happens. Transgender individuals, however, usually show other symptoms and struggles that go along with their sexual confusion, including maniac depression, self-mutilation and suicidal tendencies. Again, we see this in the prison population and those behind bars are no different than those on the streets.

    Sorry…but I don’t believe that it’s discrimination to want to protect my little girls from anyone like this, transgender or not! What I find to be ironic is when I receive very discriminating HATE mail from transgenders who are being bullies and are telling me that ALL discrimination in any form is wrong! Makes sense, now doesn’t it? And all I did was express my thoughts and what we’ve observed from years in prison ministry. (Thank you again for being polite!)

    It’s not until we change our views on sexual sins (porn, fornication, adultery, etc) that we will be able to see the dangers and horrible devastation that sexual perversion brings. May God help each of us to live a godly life and see others as He sees them.
    ~cindy

  9. Marissa says:

    I just wanted to thank you and commend you for being brave enough to confront this issue. Its not easy standing up for our beliefs in this day and age. Thank you for giving us a reminder to not look the other way on these issues

  10. Cindy Mullett says:

    Thank you, Marissa, I appreciate it. May God help us all to stand for what we know is truth!

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